It was an Accident

It was an Accident

Summary: Raph feels the painful guilt after making a terrible mistake during a fight with the foot. Typical big brother Leo confronts Raph about his error and gives his opinion on it.
Rating: PG-13
Warning: violence, blood (nothing too bad)




      The red-clad turtle stood on the top of a random rooftop in New York City right in the middle of a powerful thunderstorm. He was too preoccupied with his own thoughts to even care about the cold rain soaking his skin or the earsplitting thunder above. The mutant turtle sat cross-legged on top of the cement rooftop uncharacteristically calm while watching the people down below scatter in order to avoid the pelting rain. It was hard for him not to smirk in amusement at the sight of the frightened humans trying to evade harmless water.
      The red-clad turtle almost wanted to strangle the pedestrians down below. Why are they freaking out? It’s water, not acid. They’re fine. If rain is the worst they have to worry about, then God bless them. Because I, unlike them have suffered through ten times the traumatic events that they will ever have to face. A pang of jealousy quickly swept through the tough turtle, quickly followed by guilt. Why should I be angry at them for being better off? It’s not their fault….I should be happy that they don’t have to go through the things my brothers and I have to through.

      His mind recalled the events that happened several hours earlier during a patrol. Nothing out of the ordinary really happened then, besides being ambushed by numerous foot soldiers in a dark alley while on their way back to the lair. The foot circled the four turtles allowing no escape.
     But even with the danger in front of their very eyes, the red-clad turtle was almost happy to run into the foot. There hadn’t been any action at topside all week. After another uneventful patrol, he was itching for some fighting. Beating the insides of a punching bag can only do so much. He wanted the thrill of fighting someone he wouldn’t regret hurting.
      It was safe to say that the red-clad turtle had been the one to issue the first battle-cry before the blue-clad leader could even say anything. Even if orders had been given, it was highly unlikely the red-clad turtle would’ve bothered listening to the orders, let alone follow them. His mind had been clouded by the need to cause pain. Looking back on it, that need made him seem horrible.
     Battle ensued quickly. Even though it was nearly pitch black in the dark alleyway, the red-clad turtle knew that his brothers were fighting fiercely alongside him. Their shouts echoed between the two alley walls, and the sounds of weapons hitting flesh could clearly be heard.
    But the red-clad turtle was too focused on his task of punishing the enemies in front of him to be aware of his brothers behind him.  Instead of being aware of who he was fighting, he blindly attacked the nearest living thing he could sense. He enjoyed every painful punch and kick that had been given to the people dressed in black and was even more thrilled as his sais delivered excruciating bloody stabs into the attacking bodies. Enemy after enemy fell to his feet and many scampered off due to injury.
     The turtle didn’t realize how much the battle had been won until it was too late. After kicking another foot soldier roughly in the temple causing unconsciousness, the red-clad turtle immediately sensed someone behind him. Without hesitation, he swung his sais at the living thing deep into its flesh. He wanted to hear the living thing cry out in pain.
     While a scream in pain was instantly let out, it was not the scream the red-clad turtle was expecting. Instead of hearing a foot soldier’s scream, a higher pitched youthful scream pierced his ears.
     His heart dropped to the pit of his stomach when he recognized the familiar scream of his youngest brother.

    “Raph what are you doing out here?” a worried voice called from behind causing his thoughts to instantly snap out of unpleasant memory.
      Raph didn’t even bother to acknowledge the voice of his older brother Leo behind him at first and quickly buried his face into the palms of his hands in complete regret.  He wasn’t going to show Leo the pain he was holding inside from the memory. Not yet anyway. The thunder seemed to crack even louder in the background from the storm than ever before. Deep down inside, he appreciated this. It made it easier to ignore his worried brother behind him.
     Leo gently crouched down beside Raph and slowly peered over at the face of his younger brother in hopes of reading his facial expression. But the red-clad turtle continued to bury his face in his palms and listen to the thunder in the background. The older brother gently placed a hand on his younger brother’s shoulder to get his attention.
   “Raph….what are you doing out here?” Leo repeated his question more clearly a second time while tightening his grip on his brother’s shoulder. They both knew the answer to his obvious question, but Leo wanted to hear the answer from his brother himself.
    “I’m thinking…….” Raph muttered through his hands barely reacting at the question.
     Leo took his hand off his brother’s shoulder before mumbling to his brother, “about what?”
    Raph unburied his head from his hands and sat up straighter. He tilted his head in his older brother’s direction to issue a sharp glare at him. The red-clad turtle growled quietly, “I think you know the answer to that one…..”
    Leo sighed quietly while looking down at the streets of New York City. He was unfazed by his brother’s aggressive stare and his rude growl. The turtle whispered to his younger brother just barely loud enough for either of them to hear, “it was an accident.”
  “So?! I still hurt him! You saw the blood, you saw how much pain he was in!” Raph shouted at his older brother loud enough for the streets of New York to hear if the thunderstorm hadn’t been around to block the noise. Leo quickly glanced over at his younger brother startled. “I could’ve easily killed him. And if I did, I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t be here trying to comfort me right now.”
    Leo shook his head at that last comment before looking at his brother’s red blood-shot eyes. Water poured heavily down his face easily covering the tears that may or may not have been there. Weather or not his younger brother was crying or not didn’t matter. But the leader could easily tell his brother was in pain.
    A comfortable moment of silence fell between the two brothers with only the sounds of the thunderstorm droning in the background and the familiar sounds of nightlife in  New York City. That moment of silence was enough for Leo to finally gather his words to say something.
   “It will not happen again,” Leo told his younger brother sternly while looking at him dead in the eyes.
    Raph made a loud audible sigh before questioning, “How do you know it won’t happen again!? You obviously didn’t read the sadistic thoughts that were going through my head. I wanted pain. I was lusting for blood Leo. Before I stabbed Mikey in the shoulder…..I wanted to hear the scream of pain.”
    Raph’s older brother shivered at his words while staring at his brother in complete concern. He narrowed his eyes before coming to the conclusion, “You are wrong.”
  “Come again?” Raph asked his brother confused while the thunderstorm in the background suddenly quieted down. “Leo…you don’t understand….”
   The blue-clad turtle’s face brightened as he explained, “If you really wanted to cause pain so badly…..then it wasn’t Mikey’s pain you were after that’s for sure. I don’t know the thoughts that were going through your head while you were fighting in the alley. What I do know, was that you were really upset over hurting Mikey. You completely freaked out and literally carried him to the lair in order help him. Heck you even did the stitches that Donnie was going to do. I saw you give our little brother pain killers before carrying him to bed. And now I see you here before me feeling the painful guilt of the stupid mistake you made. If you are really as sadistic as you say, I don’t think you’d be feeling the guilt you are feeling right now.”
     The last of the thunderstorm quieted down leaving only dark clouds to pelt the night sky. The environment around them seemed to calm down. Even the obnoxious noises of New York City subdued enough so Raph could easily ponder over Leo’s words.
    But the red-clad turtle couldn’t find any words to say to his older brother. All he could do was mutter, “I hurt him.”
    “It was an accident. And it will not happen again,” Leo calmly repeated the words he mentioned before. He pulled his younger brother into a hug. Instead of shamefully pushing Leo away, Raph returned the hug by melting into Leo’s arms and resting his head on to his shoulders. He was tired of arguing with both himself and Leo. The red-clad turtle was fine hearing Leo try to comfort him in his ear by saying, “You won’t forget the guilt you are feeling right now. You’ll remember it before every fight from now on and do everything in your power to make sure the same mistake doesn’t happen again.”
   The two brothers let go the hug in order to stand up and stroll back to the lair. Both of them were soaking wet from the rain, but neither cared at the moment. Raph turned his head to look at his older brother while they headed back to the sewers to ask, “So…you’re not worried about having a sadist for a brother?”
     Leo's eyes widened in astonishment at the unexpected question but then shook his head smiling. He patted Raph lightly on the shoulder saying, “Sadistic is one of the last words I would ever use to describe any of my brothers.”
     At that, the two brothers easily jumped down off the roof down into a dark alley before uncovering a manhole that lead into the cold dark sewage.
    While walking back to the lair through cement sewer tunnels, Raph whispered to Leo sharply, “tell anyone about earlier and you are dead. Just because I’m not sadistic, does not mean I’m a softie.”
     Leo shrugged at the threat and glanced at Raph smiling while continuing to walk along the path to home. He gave his younger brother a long amused glance before casually saying, “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”